I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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