Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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