If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
