yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
