I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
