Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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