yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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