nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
