call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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