It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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