how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
