I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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