So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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