Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
