I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
