he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
