You're so nebulous sometimes
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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