Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
