I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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