did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
