i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This can only be settled by a dance off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
