Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
