i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
