so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Randomize
