its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
