Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wear drunk well.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
