I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
