But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
