Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
