Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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