Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Randomize
