chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
