I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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