I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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