we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
"it" just moved
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
