I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
