dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
