I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
