I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
