There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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