I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
