JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize