You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We have started to decorate penises.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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