she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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