# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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