You're so nebulous sometimes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
