This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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