you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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