is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize