Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
