Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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