Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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