Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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