I wish my penis had an off switch
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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