New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well you can't waste a boner
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
