return my video game
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
