You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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