I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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