oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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