I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
