babies were throwing up all over the place
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
