Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
