Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
