OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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